Fractured Seasons

A broken life,

Disregarded by others,

Left in the shadows,

Tears layering the cracks between us,

Turning around,

Following the puddles of your footsteps,

Wanting to forget the smiles that blinded me for so long,

Breathing heavy and longing for the rainbow to appear above me,

Clouds move to the sound of my voice,

Laying along the pivets of life,

Grass cradling my body,

The sun beaming on my thoughts,

Arching my back to the sound of the bass,

Opening my mind to the new me,

Not feeling so alone anymore,

Vibrations trouncing through my chest,

Covering my eyes from the gleam of you,

The trees closing in on me,

Warming my heart,

Sweating at the eyes that dissolute me,

Belonging to no one,

Fearing nothing,

Blowing winds rush the leaves that fall over me,

Chilling my warmed heart,

Cradling it for the white fragments of December..

Chance...Choice...Change

Silently letting go of my fears,

Giving you my heart to hold,

Fears let go,

Chance…

Choosing to let you in,

Falling closer to you with words,

Silently letting my past fade,

Choice…

Excepting the distance between souls,

Walking away from old paths,

Creating new memories with you,

Change…

Years Passed...

One day you wake up and look in the mirror and you don’t look the same you did years ago. You wonder where your beauty went? How do people see you as “beautiful” when you don’t feel that way inside? When does your mind and heart settle and except that you are a decade older? Maybe this is a mid-life crisis. You look back at your life and how fast it went. All the hearts that you broke or left behind. You wonder if you made huge mistakes that will leave you alone. Those words that you should have never uttered or spoke. The fights, smiles, tears…You think of all the eyes that you have gotten lost in and the way your heart beats when you miss them. The way your life has turned out and if you are truly happy with it. The tears that tell a story that you cannot put into words because it is too painful. The way you look into your future and imagine how it will be or how it could have been. The wonders of a small mind and a huge heart. You wonder if you really are a good person, or did you overlook some of the small things that left sour tastes in someone’s mouth. Smiling and then laughing at past memories with friends, past lovers, and family. I find myself thinking too much and over analyzing everything. Those imperfections of the human body that you dwell on.

Where did my youth go? Why do I feel this way….

Me

Your smile lightens the weight off my shoulders,

That brief text in the middle of the day that says hello,

The way you stare at me across the table,

The butterflies that I get in my stomach when I see your picture on my phone,

Our conversations that seem to drift away in time,

The way you laugh at my clumsiness and everyday chaos,

The way I feel as a person, when I am around you,

The “sexy” I feel when you are not around,

The way I smile around my children thinking of you in the distance,

The way I feel as a mother, friend, lover, and daughter when you say the things you do,

For the first time in my life I feel refreshed and not afraid to let the truth out,

To be me...