Fat Lip Wasted

Alone...

Demons dancing in my head,

Unwanted...

I see you staring through the lense,

I'm lost in the flashes,
As they pictate through my affections,

Breathing...

Angered with past regrets,

Love's lost, Odds wasted,

Young with looks, Old with a broken heart,

Music lingers in the distance, like a movie,

That famaliar sound of innocence,

Haunted by the smell of past flames,

Faded by the addiction of you,

Looking at my reflection through my glass of wine,

Liquid so pink you could stain your heart with this thing called, "Love."

Lost

Running...

Falling...

Breathing...

Time...

Feeling...

Staying...

Crying...

Time...

Smiling...

Happy...

Hurt...

Time...

No Words...

Except "I love you"...

Blood Is Not Family

Today is a sad day for me... it's like a knife stabbed into my heart and ripped down my torso until I have bled every emotion I have ever felt. When did being a sister become so one sided? When did the unconditional love of a sister become temporary and judgemental?  I have lost my thoughts in a long winded path among dark trees and unfamaliar family. I am disheartened by the ignorance and imaturity of a thoughtless person. I reached a place of high cliffs and no where to jump. A pool of silenced lips and shadowed eyes. I feel a hole that has been sewn into me like a scar that cannot be removed. I have fallen flat on my parade of life and the significance of a forever family lost. Blood is shattered among my face and the pain reeks of habit. All the tauntings of a child's memories dance in my head like a scary movie. I cannot breathe, I cannot think, I cannot be.. I am loosing it and I have no where to run and hide. I have shut my closet door and there is nothing left for me to give. I am burdened , I am drained, I am lost..

Runaway

Shadows creep behind my eyes as I think of you,

Silence becomes my breath, my oxygen,

Runaway as the dancing hearts parade the streets,

I took away my wall and broke down my defense,

Crazy thoughts took me lightly and serenaded me into your arms,

Runaway from the written words on our walls,

Earth has tyed my feet to your essence,

Leaning forward over your wishing well,

Runaway to the faded memory of you and I,

Smiles broken created with a puddle of lies,

Words that stagger into my back and tears fall pleasantly around my face,

Runaway with my pain and empty my hands of sadness,

Touching cemented cracks of neglected words,

Listening to the music of a past lifetime,

Runaway...

Cemented Tears

 Dreams that torture me as I sleep...

As I walked onto to the pavement of life and walked inbetween the onlookers standing by thier cars and talking to thier friends/Group/Clicks. I felt like an outsider and I felt uncomfortable in my own skin. Wearing shorts and a t-shirt, nothing out of the normal or fancy. I realize that I am not like the others; I am different. I am wearing make up, nails done, hair twisted, and pineapple lip gloss. I am not masculine and I do not walk with swag. I am judged upon appearing infront of these eyes that I do not know. Before I spoke, before I mentioned my name, I was judged. I kept a smile on my face and I shook hands of women that I knew would rip my name through thier gossip stories and underneath thier laughs. I felt jaded and silenced from my opinions and my breath. I am a proud woman; I take pride in being beautiful not only with my smile and mind , but with my appearance. I don't understand people that judge others for the way they present ourselves. Astonished by the perception of jealous females. The wanted, the used, the undesirable, the beautiful, the familiar, the drunk, the higheress, the used, the jaded, and the confused......