Writer's Block

Rays of sunlight beat on my face right now.. through that looking glass mirror that I see myself usually entrapped in. But, today I do not see myself entangled in a deep dark hole. Today I feel like smiling and embracing this new feeling. I feel so wonderful that I can't even put these words in place... writer's block... this is great :)

Ever Changing

I am a imperfect. I never said I was perfect in any way. I have flaws, I make mistakes, and I have hurt alot of people in my life time. (Not Intentionally) Does anyone ever really mean to hurt someone? No, I don't think so, unless you are like a freak or something. We are all human. You learn from your mistakes of the past and you move on from them. We are ever changing; I am ever changing. Like a river, it keeps moving, it never stops. I am not that single rock on the bottom of that river that never moves or learns anything. I feel that I am that brisk leaf at the top of the river. I float gracefully on the river as it passes by. I randomly get stuck on a huge rock or log, but I evenually break free of that place. Like always having both feet on the ground and my hand on the door. But, for 2012 I am going to take my hand off the door and I will stay and see what this may hold for me. :) Smiling.

Floating By

In the past few months I have reflected on all the pain and anguish that has hurt me in the past few years. I finally feel like I have exhausted those feelings and forgiven myself and the people that have led me in such a path. I am smiling today because the sun rose this morning and shined upon my face as I opened my eyes. I felt the warmth of another day and I stretched as I walked towards the bathroom for my hot morning shower. As the water fell upon my face I had no tears, no sadness, and no bitterness. It has been so long since I have felt this way. Anyone can smile and act as if they are feeling amazing.. but to really feel amazing and to smile for no reason at all is truely the greatest gift life can give you.
I drove to work today and enjoyed the sound of traffic. I took my time and listened to my favorite cd. I felt yeilded from all the rushers of rush hour and the horns that blew at other cars. I walked into work gracefully with a little step in my walk. I smiled at passing co workers as they walked by in a hurry. I am blessed to feel this way today.. Smiling..

Hope

Emotions ran high this past weekend. I feel yielded from my hearts feelings. A dismantled person is all I see when I look into the mirror. Fearful thoughts of a present future sits infront of me. Dismay over comes my skin; but a light shines through all of the pain and anger. A deep yearn for a smile and a overwelming feeling of happiness becomes me. A guided hope carries my hand along the lines of your smile and the gleam of your eyes when they look into mine. I start to realize the only person who is keeping myself from being happy is me.