You

From the moment I touched your hand,

I felt butterflies flow throughout my chest,

You were the reason I smiled,

From the moment I caressed your body,

I felt this tingle beneath my skin,

You were the reason I felt happiness,

From the moment my arms embraced yours,

I felt my future flash before my eyes,

You were the reason I wanted to be better,

From the moment I looked into your eyes,

I saw the beauty in you,

I stopped to take it in,

So that our love could begin....

Madness In My Head

I feel this deep panic in the back of my throat. A feeling that I cannot get rid of. This anxiety is consuming my body and all of my thoughts. I let my guard down and I got comfortable..too comfortable. It's gloomy today and it fits my mood perfectly. Something I do not wish talk about and a name that I would rather never speak. Silence embraces me and blankets me from that frigid cold shoulder that you have given me. I feel cold and alone. I sat there, looked at you, and watched the hours tick by on that old clock in the corner. I saw my life flash before me and all the lies and moments that were once so hurtful. I felt the tears swell in my eyes and if I blinked they might have all fallen. But, I took a deep breath and looked at you. I did not blink for I did not want to demask myself. Those moments that I regret my actions and the choices I made eat at me everyday. The past over takes me and I was so willing to let it all go away. A mere gift taunts me today. Will I ever feel that hopeful serenity...

Trapped

Some look at me as a modern day princess; someone with beauty and personality. I look at myself and see a modern day girl that is struggling through life. Some see my smile as perfection and I see a smile that hides so much pain and hunger. Some say my eyes are gorgeous and I see broken promises and shame. Trapped on a island, running until I hit the water. There is no where to go and I must face my own fears of regret and sorrow. I must feel that pain of missing you and feeling the past knifes; like they were yesterday. Unexplained feelings blanket me as the rain begins to pour and the sand sinks around my feet. I feel cold and chilled by the breeze of the ocean air. As I close my eyes I start to see a glimmer. The rain stops and I see you, dancing in the distance as a beautiful ray of sunlight glares right into my hazel eyes I remember that not all is lost. That I really am only trapped at my desk at work , listening to pandora as the sun gleams through my office window. That I am holding myself back and that it is me that I have missed and I am responsible for my smile and the way I feel today..no one else.

Silenced

Breathing Heavy,


Faint Pulse,


Crawling Skin,


Shivered Lips,


Eyes Teared,


Mouth Drops,


Body Crippled,


Sound Silenced,


Blood Flowing,


Heart Crossed,


Wall Up,


Knock Me Down...

Reflection

My heart feels like it is going to explode,


On my knees as I bow before you,


Looking into your eyes with curiousity,


Tears roll down my face,


My hands upon the floor,


I yearn to speak,


No words can describe this feeling,


Pushing me to the edge,


Lonely inside,


I realize,


I am staring at myself,


There is no you..

Curious Love

Love... what a beautiful thing. The way it warms your heart and molds two people together. I have had love, lost love, gave love away, and let it go. It never gets easier. I believe you never simply let love go; it just starts to fade. Sometimes it stays with you for a lifetime and sometimes it is taken from you. What a curious thing love is, the way it moves through your body and changes the way you see things. I have had many broken hearts and I have broke many hearts. When do you know when you have met that special person that will hold your heart and keep it forever. Never to let it break or fall? Chances you take in your lifetime; It's like gambling. When you are trying to decide what numbers to pick on your powerball ticket. No one ever told me when I was younger that life and love would be so hard. That the decisions that you make always have a consequence that involves someone's heart or feelings. Even if that decision you make is the happiest moment in "your" life it may kill someone elses dreams and hopes for thier future.