Optical Feelings

My heart can only take so much until I start to break. I feel like my heart is glass and it is starting to crack and shatter all over. How much can you show and give for you to see how much I love you. For you too see that I am perfectly imperfect. That I have flaws and that I make mistakes. I am a woman that takes full responsibility for everything I have done in my life wrong or right. It seems like the only thing I am good at is being a mom and taking care of a home. I don't lie about who I am and what I have. I am proud of my struggle. Do I wish I was a lot better off? Yes.. doesn't everyone. I am trying so hard to be even keel and to agree to diagree. But, as much as I am showing and giving .. seems like it's not enough. I am trying so hard. I am begging for you to open your eyes and see my change. Can you see it? Do you see it? When is my break from this broken heart of mine. When does life complete and become full circle. When does the past really get let go. When Do I get the life so many have of smiles, laughter, true love, and unconditional warmth. I had it once and it slipped through my fingers. I just want to love you with my all. Is that ok? Can I keep you? Can we be forever? Can I be your forever? Please...This blog is the only sanity I think I have away from the chaos of life. Away from the hectic work schedule and the beads of sweat that I bleed trying to perfect this imperfect me. I can feel your heart beat in mine. I can feel your breath of my neck. I can feel your thoughts run through my viens. I can feel your love. Please, come out of your shadow and show me where you stand. Step out of your grey area for one moment. Let me see you....I am waiting...por siempre.