The pondering of B

It's late... But, I can't sleep.. Alot on my mind.

It's funny how you make gambles in life.. and truly don't know what the outcome is gonna be. It's hard to find yourself these days. You think you know what your purpose is. I thought mine was to be an obedient wife and a wonderful mother. I am a good mother.. but I lack in areas. I know no one is perfect, but I want to be. I mean I want my kids to understand that even the most perfect person (if there is such a thing) still makes mistakes. But, I failed as a wife horribly; what did that teach my kids? I am leery of ever letting my heart love again- I don't want to ever hurt like I did. I guess I will just put all my love into my kids lives. I know they will love me no matter what I do. I am their mother. Just as I will love them forever no matter what they do in their lives. I may not agree or like what they have or will do .. but no matter what I will always be there. I guess that is why marriage was so comfortable even when it was over. We still lived together and even though we both were unhappy we had each other no matter what. Now, I am all alone except for my children. If I am sick I must go on, if I am sad I must go on.. It's all about being strong and being tough when you really don't want to be.

On a lighter note the girls had fun painting their pumpkins tonight. I will post pics soon.

B

Love is funny it grabs you when you least expect it to. So there is always hope..