I sit here as the minutes tick away... at work.. I here every noise that goes on... I watch the clock as if time will never pass. I await.. then I will leave and head to being a mommy for a brief hour as I take my kids to there papa's and then off to my second job.. where I feel like a piece of meat up for auction. When does life get easier and better? I ask myself that everyday I wake up.. then I look at you as you lay next to me in the mornings where it isn't chaos to get ready for work.. and you make me happy and I smile.
There is nothing better than getting up in the morning to you and falling asleep in your arms. But I often ask myself if this feeling will a test to time and will it stick like glue to paper. I can only hope.
Stress can really create issues in your life and unnecessary fussing. I find myself feeding into the natural woman like habits of fussing too much. I sometimes- during the time that I fuss- wonder what I am even fussing about. Silly me!
Money is such an issue with so many people right now. I wonder if my bank account will ever overflow with the comfortableness of lots of money. It is so hard right now to keep up and in the back of my mind knowing that I owe some of the people I love dearly so much. I can only strive to be better and make something of myself.
I miss my children so much. Even though I see them often, I really don't get to spend that quality time with them. I know they miss me too. How do you fix that.. they are only young once. Life is so hard to slow down and look at what you really need to give attention and time too. But, for right now money is over powering my way of life. I owe so much and I am so behind.
I am going to take that time out this weekend and really embrace my kids and remind them that mommy does what she does because she needs to. So I can provide for my children and give them the best of what I have to offer and that they do not need to worry. My daughter tends to do that. She really is just like me. Who would have thought.
I have lost a dear friend of mine recently and it hurts every time I think about it. I really miss her and I hope that she is well. I really don't have words to describe how much I am devastated about this.
I have also learned that there are many people that will enter your life and take advantage of your thoughts and feelings. Over dosing themselves with your presence to where they just up and leave you with a blank stare and no words to utter. And then you ask yourself what the heck just happened? The only feeling they leave you with is hurt and pain. Stay away from those people. Look at all the warning signs. They are there- and the majority of the time when those kind of people come around you see it like a red flag- but you choose to look the other way like it's your favorite color and you cannot live without it. (and I am not talking about a lover- I am talking about family members and friends)
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