I hate myself today..

Have you ever felt lost in your own life? Like you have no control over anything? I feel like I am walking down a street with cement walls closing in on me the closer I get to the way I want to be and then when I reach the end there is barely any room for me to squeeze through the walls. I feel trapped in all of my rapid thoughts. I sitting here with my face black and blue and all I want to do is go home and cry myself to sleep. But, there is no time for that because I have responsibilities. I feel like I am misunderstood in so many ways and that I no one understands me. Yet, I do not understand myself a lot of the times. I am so confused to where my life is heading at this point. My face is throbbing with pain and my teeth on the left side hurt so bad. A lover's quarrel has done this to me. My jaw is hurt and it pops every few minutes when I talk I can barely eat because I cannot open my mouth wide enough to take a bite. What am I going to do? I started this and I feel guilty and horrible that this has happened. How do I change this and how do I turn this around .... Thinking...